JOKES
 Three newly married men were sitting in a bar
together bragging how they had given their
new wives housework duties.
The first man had married a woman from
Albania. He bragged that he had told his wife
she was to do all the washing up, laundry,
dusting and cleaning in the house. He said that
on the first day he didn't see anything but on
the second day he came home to a clean
house, the dishes were all washed and put
away and the laundry too had been done.
The second man had married a woman from
the Ukraine. He bragged that he had given his
wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning,
washing up and the cooking. He told them that
the first day he did not see any results but the
next day it was better. By the third day his
house was clean, the dishes were done, and he
had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Liverpool. He
boasted that he told his wife that her duties
were to keep the house clean, the dishes
washed, the lawn mowed, the laundry done and
hot meals on the table for every meal. He said
that on the first day he did not see anything, the
second day he still did not see anything, but by
the third day most of the swelling had gone
down and he could see a little out of his
left eye.
What is the difference men and
government bonds?
Bonds mature.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence
(a life sentence!).
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses
his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets
her Masters.
Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a
woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types
of "RINGS":
-
The Engagement Ring
-
The Wedding Ring
-
The Suffer-Ring
-
The Endue-Ring
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Getting married is very much like going to the
restaurant with friends. You order what you
want, and when you see what the other fellow
has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to
another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring
on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I
am, I married the wrong man."
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take;
the husband gives and the wife takes.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was
in love and didn't notice it."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred
letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
I haven't spoken to my Mother-In-Law for
eighteen months....I don't like to interrupt her.
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our
marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole.
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